To Be or Not To Be… A Parent

“To be or not to be, that is the question…” asked by Hamlet centuries ago from a play written by William Shakespeare. This famous phrase has spanned through time on an endless quest to find what the answer really is. I use this question in regards to parenting and what it means to be one.

TO BE a parent has several different meanings to various people. In my mind, first and foremost, it means that when a person becomes a parent, they are the sole responsibility to raising, teaching, nurturing and loving a child. Parents come if many forms. They could be the child’s natural parent, step-parent, adoptive parent, grand-parent, foster-parent and so on. Whether we have children of our own or not, we all can give love, support, teach and nurturing to the children around us.

NOT TO BE a parent (and I am referring to people who have children but they neglect them) is someone who doesn’t care to foster and take responsibility for their children. They are the fly-by night person that follows their own selfish desires, pursuits and interests. Though this may sound harsh, being a sperm or egg donor does not automatically make one a child’s parent (mother or father) either.

Once a couple makes the decision to become parents it is so important that this decision is made for all the right reasons. Children are a huge responsibility and parenting can take a toll on a marriage and well as it can bless one. My husband and I may have different opinions, interests or hobbies, but we have always shared similar parenting styles. We never took a class or received parenting counsel; we just loved, taught and reared our children the best way we knew how. We both have strived to teach our girls with love and righteousness.  President Gordon B. Hinckley taught, “Every child is entitled to grow up in a home where there is love in the family relationship, where appreciation one for another is taught and exemplified and where God is acknowledged and his peace and blessings invoked before the family altar.”

Parents need to demonstrate love and understanding, set reasonable limits for their children in regards to behavior and consequences and allow children latitude in making their own decisions and choices. By doing this, parents will be more likely to maintain a strong and positive influence on their children.

I really believe that of all the joys and disappointments life dishes out for us, the bulk of those emotions comes from being a parent. However, I would never trade this calling to be a mom and to parent alongside my husband for anything in this world. 

Here is a funny clip from "Everybody  Loves Raymond"... In this segment he tells his wife Debra how to talk to the kids: